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Language is a powerful thing. It shapes how we communicate, how we think, and even how we feel. Words can inspire, motivate, and bring people together. But they can also be destructive, overused, or downright irritating. If I had the power to permanently ban one word from general usage, I’d have to think long and hard about my choice. After all, there are plenty of words that have lost their meaning due to overuse, others that carry negative connotations, and some that simply make me cringe every time I hear them.

But if I had to pick just one, it would be “should.”

Why “Should”?

At first glance, “should” seems like a harmless, even helpful word. It’s a part of everyday conversations:

• “You should try this new restaurant.”
• “I should go to the gym more often.”
• “You should be more productive.”

But the more I think about it, the more I realize how toxic this word can be. “Should” is the ultimate pressure word, often wrapped in guilt, regret, and unrealistic expectations. It’s a word that subtly, but consistently, tells us that we’re not doing enough, not being enough, or not living up to some invisible standard.

The Weight of “Should”

“Should” is a word that comes with baggage. When we say we should do something, what we’re often really saying is that we feel obligated to do it, whether we want to or not. It’s a word that takes away choice and replaces it with duty.

Think about the difference between these two sentences:

• “I should call my friend.”
• “I want to call my friend.”

The first sentence feels like an obligation, something we feel guilty about if we don’t do it. The second sentence is an active choice, something we genuinely want to do. When we remove “should,” we give ourselves more agency in our decisions, rather than feeling like we’re constantly failing to meet expectations.

The Guilt Factor

How many times have you told yourself:

• “I should be more successful by now.”
• “I should be happier.”
• “I should have figured my life out already.”

“Should” creates guilt traps. It makes us feel like we’re behind, like we’re not measuring up. And often, these expectations don’t even come from within us—they come from society, from comparison, from some vague sense of what’s “normal.” The truth is, everyone moves at their own pace, and success, happiness, and fulfillment look different for every person. The word “should” often makes us chase an invisible, unreachable ideal instead of focusing on what actually matters to us.

A Life Without “Should”

Imagine if we replaced “should” with something more empowering. Instead of saying:

• “I should work out more,” try “I want to take better care of my body.”
• “I should be further along in my career,” try “I am working toward my goals at my own pace.”
• “I should be a better friend,” try “I want to show up for my friends in meaningful ways.”

By removing “should,” we take back control of our choices. We stop living under the weight of guilt and expectation and start making decisions based on our true desires.

Final Thoughts

Of course, banning a single word won’t magically fix everything. But if we were more mindful of how we use “should,” we might start to notice how often it sneaks into our thoughts and conversations, holding us back rather than pushing us forward.

So if I could erase one word forever, it wouldn’t be something obviously offensive or outdated—it would be this seemingly small but incredibly impactful word that has made so many people feel like they’re never quite enough. Because the truth is, you don’t “should” yourself into a better life. You create it by making choices that feel right for you.

What about you? If you could permanently ban a word, which one would it be?